An Imaginary Line?

Sometimes, I think I'm a coward. Blindly going about my life. What makes it worse is that I choose to be blind as opposed to natural ignorance. Although, if that was the case, I wouldn't know any better and therefore wouldn't be writing this.  The poet, Thomas Gray, had it right when he wrote, "Ignorance is bliss".

I feel I live a blessed life, yet one I've worked hard for. I appreciate the small things; the smell of rain, blooming wildflowers, the sunshine on my face, my kids laughter, along with the not so small things like the freedoms that come with living in the United States and the lives it took and continues to take everyday to keep such freedoms.

I'm not deeply involved in politics and I don't follow world news closely. The more I read, watch and research, the darker my world becomes.

I want to live simply and happily, I want to love deeply and be loved unconditionally. I want to laugh daily and smile right down to my soul. I am a Christian woman and I believe in karma and 'paying it forward'.

Am I a coward to turn a blind eye to the corruption in our government and the evils of the world? I read the headlines. I know what exist, terrible things are happening every day and I choose not to dwell on them...I choose not to bring that negativity in my life. Is there a line, a little imaginary line between being involved in the world I live in and not being consumed by it?

There are people that put their life on the line to move to America because life around them is unbearable.  The life that "I have worked hard for" doesn't hold a candle to those escaping famine and death with only the clothes on their back and a hope for a better life.

I have been following the protests in Ferguson, Missouri. It's closer to home. After watching footage, I found myself searching for more.. and more...and more.  Things like this do consume me. I was bringing myself down to a dark place by trying to understand violance that didn't make sense and feeling angry about it.

I am a good person. I do good things. Occasionally I feel like I should do more and be more. One person can make a difference. So the question, albeit a rhetorical one is... is this the American Dream? Live freely where my biggest worry is getting a good nights sleep, what to cook for dinner, or if my kids are having fun hanging out with their friends. Or, should I feel guilty ignoring other people's suffering because it makes me feel uncomfortable and sad?